About 2 years ago I went to New York. Big Deal. My partner and I decided we wanted to go see Conan O’Brien. The guy is fucking funny and we thought it would be cool to go see his show. Problem was we had no tickets, but we knew how to get tickets for the show.
Basically we had to stand in line out the front of the NBC Studios from 6AM, which meant we were up at about 5AM. We stood in queue until 9AM. Thats when some dude comes down and gives everyone a ticket. I think we were number 33 & 34. They then tell us to come back at 3PM.
3PM arrives and we are back at the studios in another line for about an hour. As the time passes they gradually cull the queue. You see, these number we had were the number of people who had actually ordered tickets but were no shows.
After an hour and a half of standing in queue we are eventually led into the studio door. But the dude stopped numbers 31 & 32 and said “Sorry, no more room”
WHAT THE FUCK?!? What do you mean no more room?
“Lindsay Lohan’s people have taken up the last seats.”
WHAT THE FUCK??!!
My partner and I have stood in queue for about 5 hours in total waiting to see Conan O’Brien and I cant go in because “Lindsay Lohan’s People” haven taken the last seats? Does he not understand that I don’t live around the corner and I can’t drop by again another day? Does he think I did this for fun? FUCK NO.
Did I even want to see Lindsay Lohan? Hell no. Why would I want to look at that freckly skank anyway? I wanted see Conan and I get fucked over by a dirty whore and her fucking “people”.
You know what, FUCK YOU LINDSAY LOHAN. FUCK YOUR PEOPLE! FUCK YOUR FRECKLES! FUCK YOUR COKE SNORTING, COCK SUCKING, DUMB BITCH ASS TO HELL.
And Conan, you let me down man. Your “people” let me down. Even when I pleaded with the dude that I came from Australia, he wouldn’t have a bar. In fact, his words were “Don’t blame me, blame Lindsay Lohan. You can take it up with her”. When I asked where she is so I could speak to her, he laughed it off. Conan, you are just as guilty mate. Still love ya, but fuck dude. You gave seats to Lindsay Lohans “people”. Couldn’t they watch the fucking show from the green room? Couldn’t they come back another day to watch? They do live in the US after all. Fuck me!
Rant over.