They Call This Chicken

September 7th, 2007 By Fat Aussie in Z

Where I work we have our own cafeteria. There is a lot of staff here and a lot of food is cooked everyday. The cafeteria is run by a company called Eurest, and they make shit food. For some reason they like to add their own twists to everything they cook.
For example, they put carrot in a curry. Sometimes they make a curry, with no rice. You can have chips with that curry if you like.
The other day they had Satay Meatballs on the menu. Sounds tempting, doesnt it? I walk in there at 12:30 and there is 1 meatball in the sauce. I ask when the next lot of meatballs are coming out. Heres what happened….

“When are more meatballs coming?”
“There are no meatballs”
“What?” Looking at my watch. “Its only 12:30, you are joking arent you?”
“Nope, there is no more meatballs”
“Fine. Give me this other shit and I have to ask. If there are no more meatballs coming, why would you leave a single meatball behind?”
No response.

So, today I head into our gourmet spectacular to see a wide and exciting range of flavours to savour anyone’s delight.
A chicken curry with zucchini, carrot, capsicum and a single fly.
Pizza. Most with no topping, just the sauce spread on a piece of bread.
A heap of deep fried shit including dim sims, dagwood dogs and chips.
or Chicken Schnitzel.

Now, I am a man who loves Chicken Schnitzel. Any schnitty for that matter. Do I dare tempt fate at the hands of the Eurest chef and his poor cooking? Everything else on the menu is shit, what choice do I have?

No vegies, just chips. Undercooked, still hard chips. I ask for a bit of brown water that they pass off as gravy and I head off to my seat. I cut open my chicken and to my surprise, I realise I actually ordered Cat and not chicken. Why the fuck is my chicken brown? I dont understand. Why are these Eurest people so fucking useless. I give up.

I could go complain to the chef, but there isnt one in there. There is a guy dressed up as a chef, but I doubt he is one. I pray that this guy doesnt have kids and they have to deal with his shit everyday. Today, I will sit here and starve. Wasting away to a Skinny Aussie.

A couple of photos to get your mouth watering….